Magikarp is Pokémon’s most lovable punching bag

Tech

Magikarp is the most useless of all pokémon. In the video game series, it “attacks” with splash, a move that literally does nothing. Earlier this month, the Official Pokémon YouTube Channel debuted the English version of “The Magikarp Song,” a ballad that starts off by declaring “Totally pathetic, unreliable / Known throughout the world for being super-weak.” Just this week, The Pokémon Company International released Magikarp Jump, a game that leans into this pitiable angle to sell its stupidest creature.

On the App Store, Magikarp Jump is quick to quell any high expectations you may have. “It’s famous — for being pathetically weak, unreliable, and generally useless,” the description snarks. It’s like a game write-up from a catty teen!…

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